The fashion police were called to Whitehart Lane on Sunday after Sunderland debuted their new sickly away uniforms.
And it wasn’t pretty….Oh the humanity!
The hot pink alternate uniform with vertical purple stripes and sent hungover Spurs fans scrambling for their barf bags and heading to the porcelain telephones in the men’s room with a serious case of the spins. As they marched out onto the pitch from the tunnel for warmups, one astute metrosexual in the stands remarked “Oh my god! You aren’t wearing that are you? Meanwhile global television viewers were advised not to adjust their sets.
Most observers weren’t sure if the Yorkshire club’s new uniform was design or a tragic accident?
Looking like a Barney-the-Dinosaur induced acid flashback or they walked off a 1970s episode of HR Puff ‘N Stuff, one Twitter user claimed the ugly uniform made BlackBerry Cats’ Lee Catermole “look like a bruised pink flamingo.”
Perhaps it was an attempt to help sway the leader in our worst-referee-poll Mike Dean to feel all warm and fuzzy about the fierce Black Cats and say: “I love you, you love me, I’m an incompetent referee.” More likely the uniform is just a cruel joke on us all.
Television Match commentators described the uniform as ” a garish kit that by no means represents their team colours.”
But the uniform switch is also having a much wider impact than previously thought. Children are currently being advised not wear the uniform to school so they won’t become targets of bullying; NATO war planes are being reminded to ignore the intense heat signatures pinging on their radar screens.
Nevertheless this has to go down as one of the worst kits since the Colorado Caribou leather-tassled western-themed jerseys during the days of the old NASL or military themed combat jerseys of any North American sports team.
In the end it gets two-thumbs down from this fashion critic, and I’m not the only one.